For all souls, This is My Love letter to your soul.

When the rain is blowing in your face, and the whole world is on your case
i can offer you a warm embrace to make you feel my love.

We are human beings, creatures of emotions, creatures who act on emotion.
Ill be the first one to say that it is SO HARD not to. Ill give you a perfect example... When i was younger i was out in public somwhere with my mother and i dont remeber exactly what but i must of been having "one of those days" my mother looked at me and said.. "Alison wipe that look off your face!" i responded with what are you talking about.... thinking i wasnt even making a face but clearly to her and the general public it was all over my face that i was not in a good mood.

We all seen people on the street, people in public, people wherever and we can just tell by looking at them, that there going through something. My heart goes out to them, out to every single one of you. Sometimes we all just need that shoulder to lean on, that smile, those words of encouragement, that compliment to change our whole day and get us back into the right mindset.

My point is is that its extremely hard NOT TO ACT ON THE CURRENT EMOTIONS YOUR FEELING. But a wise saying states : " A decsion based on emotion is always the wrong one." Now I only write and speak from what i know, what i experienced, and what i lived.  and truly my whole life has been based on emotional decisons. I ran from my past, i hurt others to move ahead only learning i came in last and blackened my soul in the process, i emotionally only thought of  myself, What am i getting out of this. unfortunately friends the purpose of each of our lives is to find our God given talent and fins out how to share that gift with others.

I currently am struggling with living in two worlds, a tug of war for my soul, and im so tired, so exhausted, so drained of trying to balance both because we can only serve one God and like the saying goes you cant have the best of both worlds. You cant go to church on Sundays help out within the parish preach and spread Gods love and Mercy and then go out and get drunk and have pre marital sex on the weekends. or lie and cheat others, cheat on your wife and kids, steal for your own wants, hurt someone because they hurt you etc.

I am guilty of being the biggest hypocrite, I wind up in the confessional repeating the same sins to the priest. But im here, im receiving the sacrament , im fighting, im trying, i want heaven, I want to be a saint, God knows all of our hearts and all of our pure intentions that we fail to carry out because we fall into temptation and sin of this world. He knows, he humbled Himself so much and became Man, giving us His only son to understand the human creature, Jesus shared in our emotions, our flesh and blood. I think people fail to relate to this AMAZING MAN, THE LOVE OF MY LIFE! He felt everything we feel, dont think because he was God within man that he didnt experience sadness, pain, suffering, hurt, anger, disappointment. He experienced so much that His Scared Flesh sweated blood knowing everything He had to go through to Save you.

FOR CHRISTS SAKE HIS WHOLE LIFE WAS SUFFERING. BUT IT IS CALLED THE PASSION OF CHRIST. BECAUSE HE SO PASSIONATELY LOVED YOU SO MUCH THAT HE WOULD SUFFER AND DIE FOR YOU.

With that being said you have to DISCIPLINE YOURSELF, just because you feel sad or lonely doesn't mean go get a drink, go have casual sex to feel liked or loved, dont lie because you fear the truth, dont cheat to get ahead.. dont make emotionally decisions so your human self feel comfortable. its painfully to be raw and honest with who you really are, and who you think you are.

back to my point on emotions, you have to embrace your suffering, embrace your pain your hurt your anger your fear your whatever. because the only way to conquer it, is to BE BRAVE BE TRUE BE HONEST BE COURAGEOUS AND LOOK IT RIGHT IN THE FACE AND LET IT KNOW THAT IT WILL NOT DEFEAT YOU. IT WILL ONLY MAKE YOU STRONGER.

So many saints and religious that i know, pray for suffering. for the Lord even revealed to St. Faustina that the Angels are jealous of us for 2 things, the ability to suffer and the opportunity to receive Holy Communion. For in suffering you become stronger. you have to be a mental warrior and have discipline to deny yourself to act negatively on these emotions, embrace them and conquer them, offering it up to the poor souls in purgatory.

TRULY IT IS TRUE THAT WHAT DOES NOT KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER. EVERY BATTLE YOU CAME OUT OF IN YOUR LIFE YOU GAINED WISDOM, KNOWLEDGE, STRENGTH, AND DIVINE BLESSINGS.

Jesus was right there with you, holding your hand when you walked alone, holding your head when your were balling your eyes out, He was there in the middle night hugging you when you had all those evil thoughts running through your head. He was there kneeling at your bedside smiling when you didnt even feel worthy of getting up, HE WAS THERE, HE IS THERE, HE IS RIGHT NEXT TO YOU NOW AT THIS MOMENT, along  WITH YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL WHO NEVER LEAVES YOUR SIDE ( that is there only job to light and guard to rule and guide over you, to protect you, to help you walk on your destined path to heaven;.

TALK TO THEM MY FRIENDS THEY WILL ANSWER, SOME ANGLES GO THROUGH THEIR PERSONS WHOLE LIFE WITHOUT EVEN BEING THANKED, BEING TALKED TO..HOW SAD. THEY WERE CREATED JUST FOR YOU!!

This world has one guarantee...SUFFERING. but its all how you look at it. I love when suffering comes my way because i know that each second, each day i face it embrace it and conquer it i become this AMAZING WARRIOR THAT NO ONE CAN DEFEAT, NO SUBSTANCE CAN POSSESS, NO TRIAL CAN BREAK, NO BATTLE CAN KILL, NO TORMENT CAN HURT.

those who personal know me.. know ive walked through the valley of death many times but each time with the Power and TRUST in God i emerged from the smoke and ashes of the battle every time, stronger wiser and more mentally disciplined.

DON'T GIVE INTO YOUR NEGATIVE EMOTIONS FORCE YOURSELF TO SHOW THE WORLD YOUR NOT SUFFERING, YOUR NOT HAVING A BAD DAY, INSTEAD GO OUT AND SPREAD JOY AND LOVE..SMILE..HOLD DOORS OPEN, HELP A PERSON AND WATCH HOW IT WILL COME BACK TO YOU AND HOW GOD WILL BLESS YOU EVEN MORE.


I love you all so much and my heart sends love, prayers and blessings to each and every one of your precious souls. I am always here for you.

<3 Alison Claire

Secret Life of an Outcast

She can’t let go and she can’t relax

Holding her head in her hands she breathes inhaling the peace from God to the max

Seeing her share of devils in this angel town

She smears on lipsticks and walks out the door with a frown

Blocking off the cortex of the brain that is screaming sin

She puts on the happy sexy girl persona and walks in

Call her the best actress Hollywood seen

For she prevails affectionate love but in the truth of the drunken hour she turns mean

She lost who she was several encounters ago for she put her trust in the devil six feet below

Seeking the weightless green envy that the world cheats lies and kills over

Here she is an alcoholic medicating her guilt away claiming she’s sober

So far in that she can’t even see the door that locked upon her entrance

Every word they breathe every touch they lay she’s screaming forgiveness to God in the silence of a sentence

Grasping the bottle for her temporary escape

Every meeting was so horrid consider it consensual rape

Holding it all together in the hours of light you would never guess the demon lurked inside

As soon as the silence of the night emerged and the debt of her past surfaced began the stirring of beastly cries

Seeking to ravage her purity of soul that she worked so hard to protect

They consumed the whiteness in an instant leaving thick blackness like a swarm of insects

Love became the best performance of the year masked behind different faces show after show

Self-hate spread rapid like weeds in fertile soil leaving her lost empty increasing the ability to not care and let go

Kindness was like a nightmare to her believing she was so low she shouldn’t deserve any care

When people who tried to get close and uncover who she was she hurt them on purpose pushing them so far. Them coming back or giving her a second chance was very rare.

Her only comfort was what she known

And all that ever was…was rejection judgment abandonment…just her and herself sitting there alone.

<3 Alison Claire

Stigmatized a MISFIT

Did everything right played by the rules

Went over and beyond what I was told to do

Everything was straight flying high no mistakes

Till that hour of darkness overshadowed my head

False accusations screaming  and howling as I laid in bed

There I stood pleading my case

Looked back at mom crying so much all red in the face

Moment of silence time stopped judge sentenced me guilty and motioned for the cop

Never felt so much rage consume me so fast there I was being falsely accused straight up put on blast

Cold metal locked my wrists chained in a line with the other misfits

Shipped out locked up forgot

THERE I WAS A+ BEHAVIOR BE STRAIGHT UP MOCKED

Sitting in the cell counting hours

Saying the rosary on my fingers invoking Blessed Mothers powers

Why me is the question that stayed in my mind tick tock tick always watching the time

Had to let go Give it to God my human mind didn’t understand injustice and fraud

Solitary confinement is where I was thrown

Looking back all I remember is being cold hurt tired and alone

One of the darkest nights of my soul

Had to offer it up trust in God and let go

Prayers were my daily bread

Said them 24/7 to keep me straight in the head

The slam of the cell , screams In the night all metal everything haunt me to this day

Submerged in the darkness I constantly pray

Time came

Thrown back in the world like everything was the same.

The Raw Truth Exposed In Ten Years

There we sat

Face to face

Alone

Staring no blinking

Memories flooded our minds….constantly thinking

I knew the person but I haven’t given them the time of day in years

Here we are sitting…staring…facing all  of our fears

Locked in a silent trans we speak from the heart

Emotions begin to emerge on our faces no elements could break us apart

The only two that knows that honest to God truth

The story of our life by the grace of God standing here as living proof

There is a moment. She pauses, breathes and lets her wall of protection  she wears come down

What I see freezes my body shocks my emotions silent I sit shocked not making a sound

A decade of pain causes her eyes to have innocent glassiness of tears staring at me

Her eyes begging me why ?!why?! why ?! did you do this to me?! how could you not see the toll it took on me?

Her face harboring the bad choices she led to believe was the only option

Eyes engaged we exchange our past…the choices I made that dragged her through her darkest hour

Allowing me to see how my choices left her bitter broken and sour

I just wanted to run to her with open arms, hold her tight and tell her I love her so much and that suffering is over.

Im sorry for being selfish, neglecting you and your  pureness of heart full of good intention smothering it with my devious ways and my cruel perception.

I punished you for the gouging pain others induced

Here you are the innocent victim and today I want to present a truce

From here on out everything I do is for you.

I dedicate my life to heal your pain, dry your tears, love you so much till you have no fears

And there she sat looking back at me

For the first time in years she showed signs of being happy

The promise was made and ill be damned if it doesn’t happen

This poor innocent girl had every word spoken to her end in a lie

Ill give her what she deserves even if I have to die.

Because she died for me so I could  live in false happiness and escape reality

Now Ill die for her to live in truth love peace joy and truly be happy

There we sat.

Ready to forgive the ones who wronged us . forgive and forget

Love so much healing the holes  on our soul and lacerations on our heart

Stick together till the day God calls us home..the only thing which will  be able to break us apart

Soul parting from the earthly shell of human flesh

But until then her walls go back up ,  hiding her true self from the world allowing her to mesh

We promise to see each other and talk  more often  and let things that happened between us just be.

 There i sit ..I looking at her and my reflection looking back at me.

<3 Alison Claire

Winds of Her Spirit

Disturbing peace in ones soul alluring the senses of trust to let the guards of protection fall down
Entering the most sacred space of the being in the middle of the silence in the dark when no ones around

Awakening  endorphines ... affectionate connection
The moment passes, back to reality of life, up go the walls out ,come the guards , constant protection

Goodbyes generate white lies of hope
enticing the mind to feel at ease leaving the sweet sense of happiness to cope

The silence once shared is bombarded and flooded with the judgmental noise and persuasions of the world

The life paths once intertwined as one are farther then the poles of the earth
Constructing more walls of protection to thy heart and soul... inducing a barrier birth

The people of the world  ponder how one can be so easily detached from the greatest feeling between two
Three little words pierce her heart rendering abandonment and  strength doing what she had to do

Resilient to human affection never allowing one to get to close
 in fear of being  attacked where it hurts and stings the most


Keeping her whole life a series of secrets to  beings like her,  knowing it will be the last
Shed rather talk to Angels of her haunting past

Her soul is the prize of the greatest battle that will only seize when shes unable to breathe

Constantly fighting off demons drowning who she really is
Gasping for breath , Seeing an escape for  an oasis at that first kiss

Unlocking the door to her most guarded possession talking to her you'll lose track of time
Intriguing is an understatement of what you see before you
everything about her rushed sensations through your spine

You want to hold her forever and absorb the pain, Heal the wounds from walking the plains of life
You kiss her softly, allowing trust to envelope her mind soothing her heart, there you lay in the silence of the night.

exchanging a moment that allows her to escape, mental vacation.....sensual stimulation

as easy as it began its easier for her to walk away leaving you lying there granting you one last glimpse, an unforgivable sway and just like that she disappears in the dark talking to Angels on her way.

....Peaceful Warrior following her spiritual wind
Living a life of seclusion never letting anyone in

<3 Alison Claire

Give God the Keys to your Car and Watch Where He'll Take You!?!?!?!

Letting Go and Letting God take the wheel in my life

...As soon as Jesus hopped in the driver seat he told me to BUCKLE UP AND HOLD ON! as he whipped a U turn and speed full throttle the opposite direction... (who would of thought Our Lord was a Rebel...

l guess when He is saving a soul there is no speed. I sat  back in the passenger seat and could for the first time in 7 years RELAX, BREATHE, LET GO and LET GOD take care of everything

 my job

 my friends

 my house

 my bills

 my family 

my mission

 my purpose.

(GIVING EVERYTHING TO HIM, SHOWS OUR FAITH AND HE LOVES US SO MUCH HE ALWAYS HANDLES EVERY SITUATION WE BRING TO HIM IN THE BEST WAY)

 Looking out the window driving through the valley of death I once walked I now was in the JESUS mobile

 ...SAFE FROM THE ENEMY...TRULY SORRY FOR MY SINS AND POOR CHOICES I REPENTED AND BECAUSE OF GODS INFINITE AND DIVINE MERCY I WAS CRADLED IN HIS SAFETY CRUISING BY THE OBSTACLES THAT ONCE TRIPPED ME UP....

 ( almost like having star power in super mario...everything that harms you instantly dies when trying to attack you because your protected. ) That is the same thing when you return to the bright light loving care of God the Father and follow His glorious plan He created you for. Nothing.. can harm you )

I was no longer stuck suffering and struggling...we were soon at our first pit stop allowing me to self reflect repent and choose to continue to still give Him the keys and have control over my destiny .... for what took me 7 years He got done in one week so Go ahead Brother keep whipping work =)

 Looking out the window I seen my reflection in the review mirror, i started crying out of joy for who i saw looking back at me was free from her vices and things of this earth that were holding her back she looked so happy so at peace she looked back at me and said I LOVE AND FORGIVE YOU. for the first time in a long time i LIKED no i LOVED what i seen in the mirror.

 I glanced over at Jesus while  both belting out Bob seger and just smiled as he continued to drive and steer my life in the right direction... We talked about so much through this journey and He told me Im the only person who knows where were going HOW COULD YOU NOT LET ME DRIVE ...Crazy girl.. NO WONDER YOU WERE LOST!?!? But dont worry I have a GPS on all my daughters and sons... and when they Call for me I come right to them and get them back on the right road to there purpose for which they were created.

 So now Im at my third pit stop. Hanging out with Jesus you meet the BEST PEOPLE WITH THE CRAZIEST NETWORKING CONNECTIONS WHO OPEN DOORS YOU WOULDNT EVEN DREAM OF Go Jesus GO! For the first time in my life after searching for so long I found the puzzle box i fit in..

 I am fulfilling my mission as an apostle of Jesus and Mary and doing the work i was created for... Loving, serving, guiding, counseling and mentoring young people and youth ..Modernizing the gospel so everyone understands and teaching them by actions not preaching.

JESUS YOU DROVE ME TO THE RIGHT PLACES. AND HE EVEN PAID FOR THE GAS! GOD YOUR AWESOME... I <3 YOU ABOVE ALL THINGS! I am so grateful and BLESSED... let JESUS take the wheel of your life people. YOU CANT EVEN FATHOM WHERE HE WILL TAKE YOU. you have nothing to lose but everything to gain.

<3 Alison Claire

DAY 1: Happiness Principile # 1

FIND OUT YOUR TRUE IDENITY AND  EMBRACE IT....

•  So Who Are You? 
• Whats Your True Idenity?
•  Find out...and get one step closer to happiness =)